ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
