I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
