come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
