Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's blow job season.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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