If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
