3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
