i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
