have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So vagazzling was a success
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
