Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
