if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
