I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
