yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
