guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
