Kiss
Puke
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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