i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
