She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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