Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
