I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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