My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
