it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
