he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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