whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
