The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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