I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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