is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
