this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
