Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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