I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
