its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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