shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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