their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
