I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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