maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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