holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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