I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You are a genius and a whore.
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