I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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