U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
