Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
