her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Im part way to drunk.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
