And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
