do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
