chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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