I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She needs sedatives and a leash
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
