WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
