This is not my ceiling
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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