i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
