it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
