was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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