I think I am morally bankrupt
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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