I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
