Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize