i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
