no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
