But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think people are normalizing furries
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