i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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