and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
