Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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