so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
