Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize