Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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