Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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