Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
